To Be Thankful..

Although I am thankful for many things, I am mostly thankful that Adam and I were only friends, and nothing more, or else him disliking me right now would be even worse. I cannot get over the fact that we are not friends. I can't and don't know that I will. I feel a little crazy right now.

I did have a dream last night about him that was pink (Yes, Pink!) and it was also a cartoon. And it was also so powerful that I thought it was real, and feel like there was something to the exchange we had in the dream. Remember how I said I believe dreams are other worlds? Well, in this world, we made up. In this world, we are still friends.

In this real world that we live in, it's bizarre because although a lot of our friends care about me and this whole rift thing has gone on, I still can't seem to get past well, at least he still seems to like them and want to be their friends. Where, with me, what the heck would it take?

Right now, I am going through wedding photos and trying to think of everything happy in my life. I am almost a student teacher. I am married to somone I love. I have a great dog. I have a wonderful family. I have terrific friends. I'm pretty good looking. I've got a story that I am trying to work on. I am me. I am me. I am me.

But if me is so great, why do I let the bad stuff affect me?